Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
