She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
