I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize