i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I have post one night stand depression
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