Nicole vs. Life
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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