i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
