Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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