she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
