Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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