By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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