guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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