forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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