he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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