They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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