she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize