How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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