Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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