I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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