No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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