Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
