Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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