am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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