if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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