'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
