i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
