No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
