he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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