i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
