i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
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Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.