4 words: hood of his car
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.