I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
