But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
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I think my nap took me to another dimension
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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