i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
