good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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