Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
