So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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