My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
