THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
