I am in a vortex of obligation.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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