Pappa wants mamma naked
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize