it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
