FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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