i wish my penis had a tongue
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
