seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
