"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize