Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
