Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
