I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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