$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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