he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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