Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
