I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
