found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
