ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize