i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize