peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
