I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
