yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well I just put wine in my tea
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
