just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
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i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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