Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you win again, gameday.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
