two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
