Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Randomize
